Cast members reflect on ilYoung experience: Victor Persson, Burja Podlesnik, Esther Alberte Bundgaard and Jennifer Wallen

Cast members of ilYoung 2021 (L-R):Victor Persson, Burja Podlesnik, Jennifer Wallen, Esther Alberte Bundgaard

In September’s ilDance Newsletter, we spoke to four of the cast of Self Contained as they spoke about their journey with ilYoung.

We will feature exclusive interviews in each of our monthly newsletters, which you can catch as soon as they drop by signing up at the bottom of this page.

Now that the tour has begun, how are you finding the performance experience and what do you find yourself busy with during this time?

Victor: During the beginning of the tour I’ve found myself busy with a lot of things I wasn’t expecting myself to be busy with. To experience the tour as a part of the process, or even a process of its own has been eye opening in many ways. It really feels like the work has been alive and ongoing during this time on tour and that for me is different compared to other experiences I’ve had in the past.

Burja: I have thought a lot about the space and how the different places affect my body, how the perception of my body and other bodies change when I enter a new space. The importance of keeping on thinking and questioning the core of the work, the theme, the title. I have found myself being busy with the question of how to be seen, how to allow others to see me, wanting to be seen and communicating, sharing the piece.

How to give, receive support from the group, the space and the audience. Touring itself has had a big impact on the performing. Each location brought a different atmosphere, space, people. The newness changed us, changed the piece.

The after-show talks have been a very import part of the experience. Talking about the piece has broadened my own understanding of it, it has made realise the power and the responsibility I hold and have. When people spoke about their experiences from the piece I realised that we have changed them by performing and they have also change us.

Jennifer: Stepping in to the touring part of ilYoung, it feels like entering a new chapter of Self Contained and its endless story. I find it fascinating how all the studio work has led to the point where we are sharing our process with people who have not been a part of our bubble. We are meeting all kinds of souls through a performance we create together, -them as audience, we as artist/dancers, exchanging something and leaving with some an imprint on each other that non of us arrived with. Every performance I’m constantly working on not performing the the piece ‘again’. Moving like it’s the first or last time. Each time is a new time. The different spaces we get to share movement in hold so much information; space, environment, atmosphere, smell, history, new faces of new audiences… It becomes about the presence, the here and now - the making.

Esther: It's very intimate to do this kind of performance because you have the audience sitting so close and around you. It's always a new experience to be on stage because the audience change and you also change along the process with the work. I try to be busy with and stay true to the tasks I'm working with during the performance, and not to do what I did the last time, but rediscover information in my body. To be in the laboratory while performing.

What are the things or moments from the creation process that you feel support you on tour or on this part of the project?

Esther: One of the most important things I have learned during this process is from the way we work: asking ourselves questions by doing the thing. I feel it's very helpful to have this tool of changing your perspective by asking questions, to change the perception of yourself. When you do the same performance many times, you don't need something new to make new experiences.

During the process I have had moments where I felt I was a bit limited in the task I was working with, but when I realised that I could find freedom within the limitations, it opened up a lot of things and opportunities.

Burja: The creation process set a strong base, without it I can not imagine touring. Tools that support me are approaching every movement with questions and knowing that repetition is an option I choose not to do. Performing so many times, searching for differences and new experiences within the same score has enabled me to think of performing as research. It has also been about not taking for granted that everyone will do the piece, every time we perform, we choose to do it.

Being aware of the power that I hold and knowing that it brings great responsibility, knowing that if it is not happening, I am not making it happen. Finding joy in what I do, pushing through the struggles, changing my perspective in order to perceive it differently. Knowing it will come later, being patient.

Jennifer: The whole creation process has been an incredibly rich and extraordinary experience that I feel supports the tour very well. We have spoken a lot about not forgetting ourselves in the work we do and how abundant the power we possess is. Understanding that I have the power of choice-making while moving has brought me to a whole other level of awareness. Caring about every movement I create, big as small, new as old, and how to keep the same information and context but change the experience and sensation within it. Being a body part - part of a larger body allowed each of us to bring ourselves and our individuality to the group and show how diverse yet composite a body can be I dare to bring me and what I have to offer. Exposing myself, in front of people accepting that it can all be different from performance to performance. It makes us humans and not robots - how fantastic is that?

Victor: Something that’s been helpful for me on tour has been something that Lee and Israel said to me during our time in Härnösand. "Own yourself more, own your experience and be the authority of your own experience”. That lesson has been valuable for me to have and to take with me while on tour. To create my experience as we go, create it in the moment, and not to try to repeat something from the past.

What are the things which have been significant for you in ilYoung?

Esther: I realised that so much was changing when nothing was really changing. I learned to learn more, instead of unlearning and I remembered to not forget myself.

Jennifer: EVERYTHING. At the same time our process is still present and the whole of it has not yet been brought to our world. However, I have learned that I am so much more than I have ever believed I am before ilYoung. We speak a lot about the different I’s and agents one has and how they appear when we put ourselves in relation to something. I can be as small as dust particles and as big as Jupiter, everything between that and beyond. How the chapters in my history book are still valid and have no expiration date. It is as much about history from years ago as yesterday is history today and how essential it can become in a meeting with other histories, perceptions and perspectives. The work will never be finished. It will follow and always be with me in my body together with the tools and resources I have from before. It makes me feel less scared and gives me more comfort about continuing after our time in this wonderful constellation. It is a part of me.

Burja: The whole ilYoung experience has been life-changing, but what I find the most significant is the support and mentorship that I receive from Lee and Israel. I feel safe knowing that I will always get help if I will need it. Being challenged all the time, pushing boundaries, trusting myself that I will be able to push through. I am able to be me, I can bring the whole package. Giving myself permission to express myself, which enabled me to find a new me.

Having the privilege to enter the rich world of ideas, to gain new tools every day. Being able to shop in the enormous supermarket of knowledge. Getting to know the group, Lee, Israel and creating amazing experiences throughout the time we spent together.

Victor: ilYoung has been revealing for me in many ways. This experience has made me get to know myself and my many selves, which has been challenging but also life-changing in a way that will forever change my approach to new tasks or struggles in the future.

How do you find this different from previous experiences you have had?

Burja: This experience has been like no other. It is crazy to think that so many things happened in such a short amount of time. When I found myself discovering and receiving so much one day, then tomorrow came and gave me even more. The amazing thing is creating a bubble, not only in the studio but outside of it. It has been really intense, eye-opening and joyful. I have never had the chance to be a part of a work of such length and to have the privilege to perform it so many times. It has given me a taste of what it means to work in creation, to be a part of a company, to create a piece with a group of people who have never met before, to tour. Before this, I had never been so involved in the making of the piece and have never been able to contribute so much.

I appreciate greatly that during our time together I was never taken for granted, my contributions and suggestions have always been heard, I felt not only like a dancer, but like an artist and a human being. I never had to pretend or be cautious, I did not have to become anyone else but me, and that was, is enough.

Jennifer: ilYoung is a unique project run by two extraordinary artists who create a space where there is room for an individual bloom and growth In a volume I never have experienced before. It is so special to be mentored and guided by both Lee and Israel in a professional environment. As a dancer, I have never felt such a connection between movement and everyday life. It’s a great balance between hard work, dedication, joy, vulnerability, generousness, trust, silliness, fantasy and so much more. Being united by our love of and for dance is real and honest beauty. I feel versatile and I feel universal.

Victor: This experience has been different in the way we’ve approached the things we don’t know. Instead of trying to find the correct way or to find an answer to the question, this experience has been about questioning the questions and wanting to learn more instead of unlearning what I already know. The answer is in the question of how to do it and not in the question of what I’m doing and that has been very different from previous experiences.

Esther: The time we have had to do the research has been much longer than what I have tried before and that has been very significant for how I experience doing the performance. I feel very calm in my head before and during performances and I think that has everything to do with how we have been working. Since we share the same experience and knowledge from six weeks of working together we have developed a language that I feel secure and safe in. Even when things don’t go as we maybe rehearsed or planned, you feel that the common knowledge we share is important while we are solving and dealing with new situations. These situations are actually very exciting.